Center Ring or Side Show?

Our personal and professional lives can often feel like a circus.

There are so many people and moving parts involved.

AND...

"Stuff" happens all around us.

The "stuff" could be the promotion you didn't get, the coworker who talks over you in meetings, the relative who never cleans up their mess, the friend who is always late, or the email you just got from the boss.

This "stuff" can leave us with a variety of emotions depending on what we choose to focus on and how we choose to respond to the "stuff."

We have more control over our emotions than we give ourselves credit for, and our choices determine how we ultimately experience our personal and professional lives.

I recently attended a Power + Systems Organization Workshop that was facilitated by the Center for Creative Leadership .  During this experience, I was reminded just how important our choices become in the complex and interdependent world we live in.

The Center Ring vs. Side Show metaphor was introduced during the workshop as a way to frame the different perspectives one can chose to focus on when this "stuff" happens in our lives.

The Center Ring perspective is one that takes into account the entire organization and the many moving parts and people involved.  It is a broad lens that focuses on the mission and overall well being of the organization.

The Side Show perspective is one that only takes into account the wants and needs of the individual. It is a narrow lens that is focused on the mission of the individual, which is often disconnected from the mission and well being of the organization.

Some indicators that you are focusing on the Side Show might include:

- making up stories in your head about why someone did or did not do something;

- evaluating/judging others and viewing them has malicious, insensitive, or incompetent;

- taking what was said or done personally;

- and, getting mad, trying to get even, or withdrawing.

Some indicators that you are focusing on the center ring might include:

- seeking first to understand why someone did or did not do something directly from that person;

- having empathy for others who are making decisions and who are in different positions;

- being strategic and taking everyone's perspective into account during that process;and, avoiding getting hooked on the "stuff" and focusing on what you want to have happen next.

Making the choice to focus on the Center Ring isn't always easy. It requires an intentional effort and often means one must give up something for the benefit of the organization.  

Sometimes, however, what one gives up is fear, distrust, anxiety, and a long list of

negative emotions.

"Stuff" will continue to happen in our organizations.  Those organizations might be your families, friendships, churches, or work environments.

Chose to focus on the Center Ring and you will feel more empowered and will be better positioned to be your best self.

When we are our best selves, our organizations are at their best as well.

"You have the power to choose your moods and control your feelings. Your mind controls your world as you see it." - Shadonna Richards A Gift of Hope